Each week we feature a devotional, book review or testimony ~ a “Devotional Spotlight”, written by a woman in our ministry. We hope you are blessed in reading Samantha’s devotional!
“He Wants to Do More”
My testimony is not an uncommon one. I grew up going to church on Sundays at the local Methodist church. As a child, my thoughts of God were usually of judgment. He was always watching – pleased with the good, ready to smite the bad. So I was a good girl to keep Him pleased.
I went to a DNOW weekend with a friend and realized that God just loved me. That’s all – just love. I gave my life to Him that weekend at age 15 and went on living my good life. I continued to grow in my understanding of Him through college. But God wanted to do more. Through a series of events that would eat up a whole ‘nother blog, I found myself on the floor of an apartment in Greenville, SC, begging God to save me. It was warfare. And our Victorious Warrior (Zeph 3:17) was in my midst so I understood beyond a shadow of a doubt that my trust is in Christ alone for salvation. He allowed me to hit rock bottom to find that at the bottom of it all He is the Rock.
And yet the Lord wanted to do more. I was taking a Lay Counselors Class at JFBC years later. The teacher giving the class that night simply said, “Why would you think you can sanctify yourself if you couldn’t save yourself?” This was a new thought for me and a deep breath of fresh air. I had been running myself ragged trying to ‘be’ a Christian, serving here there and everywhere. I felt so free to just love Him like He had just loved me. This is when I stole the phrase, “You are free to move about the cabin” to remind myself that I have freedom and its found in Christ alone. He alone will do the work of sanctification in me. I can’t add anything to the work He’s already done in me – I just need to stick close to Him.
So I’ve spent the last several years sticking close. Bible Studies, prayer groups, personal times of prayer, mentoring, mission trips, teaching, so forth. It’s been a wonderful time of growth. Until the women’s conference.
Apparently the Lord wanted to do more. I walked in there with loads of guilt because I was dropping the ball in my relationship with Him. I wasn’t seeking Him earnestly and He and I both knew it. The Lord spoke to me through the conference that I needed to stop drifting.
But where was the fight in me? I longed to be close to Him but the ‘umph’ to do it was lame. Laziness and contentment seemed to be my constant companions. He had saved me and was sanctifying me but it was my job to kick it in gear. But I couldn’t muster enough to earnestly seek Him. Once again I found myself falling onto the Rock. It sounded like this:
“Lord, I was too filthy to clean myself. Crusty with worry, pursuing the admiration of others, pride. So you showed me Your Love. And although I was unworthy, You brought me to the Solid Ground of Your Son and saved me. Lord, I was so certain I had to impress you after that. I took Your salvation and tried to pretty it up and serve continuously. It was dull and lifeless labor. I carried the burden of looking like You for a long time. And although I contributed nothing, You breathed freedom into me and helped me drop all the burdens. You would do the work of making me more like You – not just looking like you.
And here I am again Lord. Can I so boldly ask that even though until this point I have provided nothing of my own salvation, my own freedom, You might once again do all the work? I’m struggling to fight the drift but am getting nowhere, will you once again take responsibility for me?
I need the desire to keep you first, to run breathlessly after you. Will you provide even the motivation dear Lord?“
I don’t hear Him say “Yes”
but only, “Child, there is no other way.”
If you also found yourself with nothing good to give Your Lord and you are again in a place of need. Give only yourself. He will do ALL the rest.
